If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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