i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
