all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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