I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So squirting runs in the family.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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