oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
