So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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