You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I need a burrito and a hug.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
