Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
