My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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