You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
