i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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