I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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