your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
