there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
