i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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