Me too!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
