I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
