That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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