I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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