i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
