Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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