well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
