Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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