ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm bleeding and have questions
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
