About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I forget how to act sober
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
