There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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