Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
