2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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