so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
