my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize