Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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