I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
