One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
