I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
