Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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