He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize