If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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