You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Sober January is a disaster.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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