so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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