Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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