Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize