You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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