This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize