I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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