Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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