just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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