She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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