I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
