Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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