I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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