I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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