Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
