Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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