some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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