I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
