The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
