I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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