No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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