my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
