His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
