just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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